A brief introduction about various relevant issues regarding NRI marriages and their ramifications.
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On Indian Wedding
Ragini Puri Think of an Indian wedding and what pops in the mind is a lavish scene from the Hindi movie Hum Aapke Hain Kaun…. huge mansions in their royal grandeur, every nook and corner lighted and flowered, bursting with elegantly clad men and women, with their children in tow…they too dressed in smart sherwanis and lehengas. There’s music, masti, dance, naach gaana and what not!! No doubt, there’s a bit of exaggeration, but, take my word, (having first hand witnessed many a cousins’ marriages) the scene is true to life to a large extent. Be it any religion, any caste, any creed, the fact is that you cannot leave glamour and extravaganza away from an Indian wedding.
Most of the weddings in India (and more specifically the Hindu weddings) have grand and elaborate rituals. Moreover, as wedding is regarded as one of the most important social event in the family, a wedding ceremony also involves all kinds of social and economic obligations. Unlike in the West, marriages in India are not just about the coming together of two individuals and exchange of vows and rings. Instead, it marks the bonding of two souls, two families, their culture and their communities. And then again, it is not an affair of a few hours, but a well-planned extravaganza spanned over several eventful days, where all the family members and friends are together for the celebration. And probably this is the reason why they say that marriages are made in heaven, but celebrated in India!!
Marriage Rituals and Customs
There are various rituals with which you can associate an Indian wedding. The wedding celebration is divided into three parts – pre wedding, main wedding and post wedding. Most of the wedding rituals are based on regional traditions, but the common tie among the weddings of all the religions is definitely the fun and excitement part. The Hindu marriage is held in a big marquee, either at the bride’s home or in a rented wedding hall. The rituals are traditional in a Hindu wedding ceremony, but they may vary from one community to another. However, customs like Ganesh Puja, which is done before the wedding ceremony, to invoke lord Ganesha’s blessings, is common in most of the communities.
But then again, if we talk about a proper Hindu Punjabi wedding, we see that the fine line between fun and serious religious rituals blurs so very easily. In a typical wedding, hungama starts off with the Shagun ceremony. Shagun marks the beginning of the wedding celebration. On this occasion, families of the bride and groom exchange gifts to conform the engagement. Another important pre wedding ritual is the bangle or the Choora ceremony, which is held at the bride’s place where the maternal uncle and aunt of the bride bring special bangles for the bride to be. These bangles, or Choora as they are called, are red and cream colored. Light ornaments made of beaten silver and gold are also tied to the Chooras. Another pre wedding ritual is the batna ceremony, whereby, the bride and the groom, in their respective homes, are bathed with a fine mixture of sandalwood, turmeric, curd and besan (gram flour). And here the masti part is having a go at poking fun at the bride or the groom (depends on the side of the relation you are on). During the batna ceremony, all the near and dear ones take the opportunity to apply the fine paste all over the person tying the knot. The fun escalates with another ritual called Maiyan. Maiyan is again a pre wedding ceremony followed by the bride and groom, whereby both are not allowed to leave their house a few days before the wedding. This is followed by another ritual wherein an auspicious red thread is tied to the right wrist of the groom and the left wrist of the bride. It is regarded as a good omen for the bride and the groom, and it protests them from ill omen. On the eve of the wedding, the main attraction is the mehndi ceremony, when henna is applied on the hands and feet of the bride…. much to the playful amusement of the all the young crowd in the house. Another pre wedding ritual worth a mention is Gharoli, which takes place at the groom’s place, on the morning of the wedding day. Here, the groom’s sister in law, accompanied by other female relatives, goes to a nearby well or temple to fill a clay pot with water, which is later used to bath the bridegroom. Among the other important functions are the Sangeet parties, where all the family members and friends of the bride and groom celebrate by singing and dancing the night away. There is arrangement of food and drinks, and is generally celebrated in a grand way….
In Hindu weddings, the main wedding ceremony is a long and elaborate affair, which lasts for several hours. The ceremony takes place in a specially designed mandap, where the couple takes the saptapadi or the seven steps around the holy fire, which symbolizes god and light. The seven vows they take during the seven rounds speak of the real essence and significance of marriage.
The vidaai ritual marks the end of the marriage ceremony, and is regarded as one of the most emotional aspect of the wedding festivities. It is the formal departure of the bride from her parents’ home. But here again, the fun part of the ritual is that the saalis, or sisters-in-law are gifted a kalichari, which is a silver ring, or sometime cash money for returning the groom’s shoes, which they hide for fun…. See, even in an intensely emotional scene, weddings in India, have ample scope for fun and playfulness. So, if we just sum up an Indian wedding, it will fair enough to say that it definitely is wholesome family entertainment…. you have a grand get together, fun, masti, naach gaana, khaana peena…. and of course not to forget, the playful harmless flirting that goes on amongst the young bachcha logs, ensuring that another wedding takes place soon!
